Fiction, Monologues, Plays & More
a monologue by Taylor Ashbrook
Listen to the monologue performed by Ann Simmons:
A woman, no particular age, no particular anything, has apparently been trying to make a point and not getting anywhere.
Wish I could say it better. Anything. Everything, you know? Like in song lyrics. You know, like, when there’s a line in a song that says exactly what you’re thinking or what you wanna think or wanna say or wanna mean or, or, or… Know what I mean? Those great talkers out there in history and the world. I’d like to have a quote, some piece of my own bullshit ramblings that gets to people. Sorta makes ‘em think. Maybe dream or imagine something new. One of those quotes they, you know, put on those little tear-off-a-page-a-day calendars or something. Except those are not really, like, good for the planet or something. Too wasteful. But fun, right? Sometimes they, well, I don’t know. Also help make the world better. Sorta.
It’s like some of the great people that have said and done and shown us, wow, like, amazing things but weren’t perfect or all moral all about everything or something. It’s like everything is good and bad or light and dark or pepper and peaches or something like that. I mean, just take the good parts and get back on the pony ride, right? Hell, wave or yell or something – whatever, draw attention to the point, you know?
Well, I always try, like, to separate a person’s, you know, work or art or message or, you know, whatever, from their personal stuff, since that’s like, really, not my business. I mean, you know, I don’t much appreciate outright, like, hypocrites (okay, my tolerance for those who publicly condemn shit they practice in private is non-existent), but humans have foibles and faults and problems and bad times, you know? And different opinions about truth, which is confusing, sure, but important, even if they mess the fuck up sometimes. Or even if they screw the piglet lots of times. But they dream and imagine better things and contemplate variables and stuff. And we can be, I don’t know, enriched or educated or inspired by the stuff that they want to share. Not the crap they hope no one notices, like picking their nose or drinking too much or yelling at the postman or whatever. You know? Like that…
Some people seem really good all the time. Or they’re good at keeping their crappy stuff to themselves. Then you just get to appreciate their words, like, without stupid distractions. Melissa Etheridge songs are like that for me. I get my trigger tripped big time when I hear lines like “Am I the twist that turns your key?” or “How long do I have to say please?” or –
Do you suppose the fact that my favorite singers are gay means I’m, like, a latent lesbian? I mean, Melissa and k. d. lang. And Bette Midler. Course, she’s just a favorite of the gays not gay herself but still. Cause, you see, I saw k. d. lang in concert and I thought she was really, like I mean really sexy. My date didn’t agree. Then again, perhaps that’s kinda the point, right, you know? She’s attractive to females not guys? I hear she’s a major player, though, you know? Which actually kind of twists my key, if you know what I mean? Mostly, though, it’s because she’s so talented and so brave and so, well, you know…
But I like Melissa’s songs more. The words. What she’s saying. Her poems. And she doesn’t turn on any of my switches for that other stuff. Not that I don’t like k.d. lang’s songs. Mostly the “early funny ones” though. (She pauses for a beat, waiting to see if anyone gets the reference. No one does.)
Man, I can’t even do quotes good. I think it’s, like, really funny to quote Woody Allen’s Stardust Memories when I’m talking about k.d. lang. Such an underrated movie, you know? And, like, wow, there’s someone who just pours out art, but some people think he’s a pedophile cause he fell in love with a much younger person. Seriously, he fell in love and everyone in the world got to have an opinion about it. Probably more people know about that than they do Stardust Memories.
But that’s not what I’m trying to say. What am I trying to say? Something cool. Something that means something. I wanna say… what I want to say. Yeah: that’s really good. I guess I should really shut my mouth now.
You know, my biggest fantasy is that someday someone will tell me, I mean, will, like, say to me quote – Well said – unquote. Oh well. Maybe some other life.
“Well Said” was originally performed by Ann Simmons in the monologue show “We’re No Heroes” at The Eclectic Company Theatre in January 2014.
Taylor Ashbrook’s current favorite quote about writing: “Words are sacred. They deserve respect. If you get the right ones, in the right order, you can nudge the world a little.” By one of her favorite playwrights, Tom Stoppard. A born and bred “Theater Geek,” Taylor aspires to write more than she actually manages to put words down on paper. Having written mostly with partners for live theater projects, she hopes to someday write a novel she would enjoy reading. Currently, she’s working on a dark, full length play – sans partners – just to get it out of her head. Except she takes a lot of breaks to direct, act and produce. Taylor has been a Member of The Eclectic Company Theatre, except for a couple brief years, since 1990.