Fiction, Monologues, Plays & More
by Jeff Folschinsky
Do you believe that there are things out there, that are beyond our understanding? Like for instance that the universe itself is capable of being a living, breathing entity. Able to affect the world around us in ways we could hardly understand? Nothing like God or the Devil mind you, but something much bigger and far more mysterious. Something capable of both good and evil at the same time. That could either destroy us with no more effort than us blowing out a candle, or holding us in such a caring embrace, that anything would seem possible. Do you believe that such a thing could exist? If so, do you believe it could make you a promise?
I’m babbling on aren’t I? I’m sorry, It’s been awhile since I’ve had company over here. Not since they closed down this part of the studio. I wish you had seen it back in the day. YOU LUCKY DOG was the name of the show. Made a lot of peoples dreams come true; not everyone’s mind you, but some. Broke my heart when they cancelled it. Didn’t even bother to tear the set down. Just shut off the lights, locked the doors, and that was that. I take care of everything as best as I can but with budgets being cut everyday, I don’t think this place will ever see its glory days again. It’s a shame really, a real shame.
Oh well, if wishes were horses, am I right? Isn’t that how that saying goes? I think so — or was it, if promises were horses? I’m sorry, I am just babbling away, and I just can’t seem to help it for some reason.
The excitement of company I guess. Sent by the Universe itself.
See what I did there? Circled the conversation back around so I didn’t seem like a complete nut case.
I’ve been thinking about things like that a lot lately. The Universe and our place within in. Not that I’m a philosopher, I just have a lot of time on my hands.
I guess that’s why I’m being such a spaz right now. I’m having to externalize and not internalize.
You like that? I’m not even sure I’m using those two words correctly, but I feel like I am. Its like the Universe itself sent you here to bring me out of my shell. Like a promise it made is finally being kept.
Like me with this place here. Trying to keep it ready for the one day everyone comes back. Which in my heart I know is never going to happen, but I’m here anyway.
Its like something told me, “Hey, you take care of it, and one day it will take care of you.” And here you are. Like the Universe itself is making good on that promise.
Wow, that is some scary crap coming out of my mouth, isn’t it? I really am surprised you haven’t bolted for the door. Wouldn’t blame you if you did.
I’m sure you came over here for some privacy. Who am I kidding? Of course you did. The last thing you were probably expecting was to run into me.
I’m glad you did though. No one should have to experience what you’re going through alone; trust me, I know.
Just sitting in a dressing room, with nothing but a comb, a tube of toothpaste and a goodbye letter is no fun. I’m talking about myself of course. I’m sorry, I’m just assuming that’s what you were reading before — well, you know — and then I showed up to make this even more awkward for you.
I can leave if you want me to? Or stay; your choice of course.
Would it help to tell you, you’re better off?
Better to learn what a complete bastard he is now then somewhere down the line. Down the line, well that’s when things get really complicated. Trust me, I’ve observed people that ended up down the line, and it does not look fun, it does not look fun at all.
I think people get so obsessed with something or someone that it kind of blinds them to realities around them.
For instance, do you know I once observed this poor girl chase after this boy for fourteen years? From my understanding she eventually persuaded him to move in with her, even got pregnant. Only to find out later that he was gay. In his defense, I don’t think he really knew at the time. Seemed like everyone else did though. She was just so blinded by her obsession she couldn’t see it, and needless to say that didn’t work out for her. He headed off to Palm Springs to have to time of his life, and she ended up back at her parents house, trying to raise a child.
Like I said, down the line is when things can get really complicated. Best that you’re avoiding the whole thing altogether.
I don’t blame you for what you’re doing now though. I don’t think the Universe does either. Some things are just hard to get over. Some things just leave a wound so deep that even if you could move on, you would just be endlessly bleeding for the rest of your life.
Trust me I know, when my show got cancelled, there was a wound on me as big as the Grand Canyon. I knew there was nothing left for me as they were shutting things down. I remember reading the letter the network sent me, thanking for my time and passion, and wishing me the best in future endeavors, or whatever was in store for me down the line.
Just sitting there in my dressing room with nothing but a comb, a tube of toothpaste, a goodbye letter, and oh yes, I forgot, a straight razor. I wish you were around back then. A bottle of pills seem like a much better choice. I wish I had thought of that.
Jeff Folschinsky’s plays have been seen at various theaters across North America. He is also creator and staff writer for Perilous and The Trials and Tribulations of Vicky Vixen, a serial late night soap opera spoof at the Eclectic Company Theater in North Hollywood, California. Jeff’s plays The Unsinkable Bismarck, A Pill By Any Other Name Is The Wrong Dosage, Rendezvous and Revelations and Kisses From Abroad are published by One Act Play Depot. His full length play Turkey Day that had it’s world premiere at The Eclectic Company Theatre, is published by both Norman Maine Play Publishing and Big Dog Play Publishing. His play he co-wrote with Tyler Tanner The Singing Bone is published by JAC Publishing. Jeff has written and produced the popular podcasts Virgin Falls, Pasiones Obsesionantes, The B-Movie Bastards and Cult Movie Cuisine. Jeff has also written a movie with Tyler Tanner and Stephanie Wiand called Revenge of the Bimbot Zombie Killers which was directed by Joe Camareno and is due to be released later this year.