Eclectic Voices

Fiction, Monologues, Plays & More

Fake News: Fairy Forcibly Removed From Flight

March’s Writers Challenge is to write Propaganda or Fake News. 100 to 500 word article using the Inverted pyramid Style of New article writing. It can be about anything you want as long as it’s not real. Here is what one writer came up with:

 

by Jeff Folschinsky

LOS ANGELES, CA: There was outrage yesterday when a fairy was asked to surrender her seat on National Airlines Flight 538.

The flight which was overbooked, and had already boarded with too many passengers. Had to ask for volunteers to leave the plane, and take a later flight.

Even with the offer of a ten percent off coupon from Norms, people seemed reluctant to leave. “It was baffling,” said Jennette Owens, one of the flight attendants present. “Who wouldn’t want a discount for a bigger better breakfast?”

Be that as it may, when no volunteers came forward. Flight attendants said they were forced to choose people at random. One of which was Tully O’Tool, a fairy visiting her god daughter that was attending the local university.

Mrs. O’Tool refused to give up her seat, stating that she had urgent business back home.

“Tooth season was about to start, and I had yet to get the appropriate change,” said Mrs. O’Tool. “it was imperative that I stayed on that flight.”

Unmoved, the flight attendants insisted she leave, but when Mrs. O’Tool refused to give up her seat, the Captain was called in to settle the matter.

“I came up with what I thought was a fair compromise,” said Captain Moorland. “Unfortunately Mrs. O’tool objected to sitting in someone’s lap. Personally I didn’t know what the problem was, after all, her kind is only a quarter the size of a normal passenger.”

Mrs. O’Tool, who later said she found the Captain’s remarks crude and insulting, proceeded to slap the Captain. Afterwards, the Captain, with help from several of the flight attendants, forced Mrs. O’Tool out of her seat.

Horrified, several fairies on the same flight declared a blood feud and proceeded to yell, “All mortals must die.”

“No one was in danger,” explained Sean O’Shaunessy, the fairy who yelled out the ill-advised battlecry. “Me and my kin had a few too many buttermilks at the time and it just slipped out. Obviously tensions where high at that moment and mistakes were made. I apologized to the Passenger I stabbed with that plastic cocktail sword, the Air Marshall and those racist crew members on that flight.”

Because of the rising tensions, authorities grounded the flight, and everyone was forced to leave, and the airline was made to refund everyone’s ticket.

“I really don’t know what I could have done differently,” stated Miss Owen. “I always try to be as nice as possible to their type, but I guess there’s no pleasing them.” Miss Owen went on to state, “Maybe the airline shouldn’t let them on flights anymore. After all they have wings, they should put them to good use.”

When asked to comment, Mrs. O’Tool who was taken to the hospital for minor injuries, simply replied something in fairy, and smiled. When asked to translate she explained, “It loses something in translation.”

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This entry was posted on March 23, 2018 by in Blog, Fiction and tagged , .
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