Eclectic Voices

Fiction, Monologues, Plays & More

Fake News: Statler and Waldorf Silent After Old Friend Goes Nuts

March’s Writers Challenge is to write Propaganda or Fake News. 100 to 500 word article using the Inverted pyramid Style of New article writing. It can be about anything you want as long as it’s not real. Here is what one writer came up with:

By Mark Bate

This evening at about 9:30 p.m. at a remote sausage factory located in downtown Los Angeles, a muppet claiming to be Jesus, ended a nearly 12 day standoff with authorities by releasing all of his hostages shortly before committing suicide by cop.

The incident began when Mr. Giggles, distraught over the loss of his employment at the Electric Company, entered his former workplace at gunpoint and loaded hostages into a stolen van. Among the hostages were a few formerly prominent actors, the
color green and the letters J and R.

Having been worn down by an FBI negotiator and low TV ratings, Mr. Giggles decided to release all of the hostages unharmed before stripping naked, wrapping a neck tie around his head, dousing himself in urine and rushing the police yelling “This is how you get to Sesame Street!”

The NRA, meanwhile, has confirmed that the local police department responded with restraint in using only 14,000 rounds to bring the crazed muppet and this standoff to a
swift and God-fearing end. Neither the police department nor Statler and Waldorf, for
the first time ever, had any comment.

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This entry was posted on March 23, 2018 by in Fiction and tagged , .
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